Steps Eight & Nine

Amends begin with responsibility

Making amends asks us to face harm and consider what repair requires. An apology may be part of that work; changed behavior gives it substance. Prepare with your sponsor instead of rushing into contact to relieve your own discomfort.

Step Nine includes an essential limit: direct amends must not injure the person or others. Respect boundaries and any restrictions on contact. Some situations call for a different approach. The other person gets to decide whether to respond or forgive. Your part is to take responsibility and practice change.

Put it into practice: Discuss one possible amends with your sponsor before contacting the person.

Reflect: Would my proposed action serve repair, or mainly seek relief for me?

Original ICGH reflection on Steps Eight and Nine; beyond the manual’s primary emphasis on Steps One through Five.

Original ICGH educational content. Explore step work with a sponsor; personal treatment decisions belong with your care team.